Do you know how powerful it is to call yourself hot?
Even if you don’t believe it, just to say it?
I remember one time when I was a counselor at a summer camp, I had a romantic entanglement with another counselor who was absolutely gorgeous (this was six years ago, but he is still gorgeous). I expressed to a friend that I didn’t understand why someone as hot as he was would be attracted to me. I thought I was too fat, or feminine, or just not enough. “Because you’re hot!” my friend said. And it clicked. I didn’t need permission, or to look at how I was told to look, I just had to believe that I was hot. And believing it started with saying it.
For a long time, every time I said that I was hot, I was lying to myself because I didn’t believe it. But eventually, after telling myself that I’m attractive every day, it became the truth, and I found happiness. It’s an ongoing process, and of course, there are days when I don’t feel hot, but those days are few and far between now. It’s one of those things that takes constant work, I don’t think I’ll ever fully have it, so I just keep giving myself those affirmations day after day and I’ve learned to unlock the ability to love what I look like in any form.
As queer people, we need to remember that living our honest truths and loving ourselves fully is a radical form of protest because it goes against what we’ve been told and it reclaims the power they’ve tried to steal from us. So if you’re reading this, guess what? You’re hot. Now go make sure everyone knows it.
Eric Michael Rajaniemi
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